The following list indicates some of the ways that the mysqld server uses memory. Where applicable, the name of the system variable relevant to the memory use is given:
The key buffer is shared by all threads; its size is
determined by the key_buffer_size
variable. Other buffers used by the server are allocated as
needed. See Section 7.5.2, “Tuning Server Parameters”.
Each thread that is used to manage client connections uses some thread-specific space. The following list indicates these and which variables control their size:
A stack (default 192KB, variable
thread_stack)
A connection buffer (variable
net_buffer_length)
A result buffer (variable
net_buffer_length)
The connection buffer and result buffer both begin with a
size given by net_buffer_length but are
dynamically enlarged up to
max_allowed_packet bytes as needed. The
result buffer shrinks to
net_buffer_length after each SQL
statement. While a statement is running, a copy of the
current statement string is also allocated.
All threads share the same base memory.
When a thread is no longer needed, the memory allocated to it is released and returned to the system unless the thread goes back into the thread cache. In that case, the memory remains allocated.
Only compressed MyISAM tables are memory
mapped. This is because the 32-bit memory space of 4GB is
not large enough for most big tables. When systems with a
64-bit address space become more common, we may add general
support for memory mapping.
Each request that performs a sequential scan of a table
allocates a read buffer (variable
read_buffer_size).
When reading rows in an arbitrary sequence (for example,
following a sort), a random-read
buffer (variable
read_rnd_buffer_size) may be allocated in
order to avoid disk seeks.
All joins are executed in a single pass, and most joins can
be done without even using a temporary table. Most temporary
tables are memory-based hash tables. Temporary tables with a
large row length (calculated as the sum of all column
lengths) or that contain BLOB columns are
stored on disk.
If an internal heap table exceeds the size of
tmp_table_size, MySQL handles this
automatically by changing the in-memory heap table to a
disk-based MyISAM table as necessary. You
can also increase the temporary table size by setting the
tmp_table_size option to
mysqld, or by setting the SQL option
SQL_BIG_TABLES in the client program. See
Section 12.5.3, “SET Syntax”.
MySQL Enterprise.
Subscribers to the MySQL Enterprise Monitor are alerted
when temporary tables exceed
tmp_table_size. Advisors make
recommendations for the optimum value of
tmp_table_size based on actual table
usage. For more information about the MySQL Enterprise
Monitor please see
http://www.mysql.com/products/enterprise/advisors.html.
Most requests that perform a sort allocate a sort buffer and zero to two temporary files depending on the result set size. See Section B.1.4.4, “Where MySQL Stores Temporary Files”.
Almost all parsing and calculating is done in a local memory
store. No memory overhead is needed for small items, so the
normal slow memory allocation and freeing is avoided. Memory
is allocated only for unexpectedly large strings. This is
done with malloc() and
free().
For each MyISAM table that is opened, the
index file is opened once; the data file is opened once for
each concurrently running thread. For each concurrent
thread, a table structure, column structures for each
column, and a buffer of size 3 ×
are allocated (where
NN is the maximum row length, not
counting BLOB columns). A
BLOB column requires five to eight bytes
plus the length of the BLOB data. The
MyISAM storage engine maintains one extra
row buffer for internal use.
For each table having BLOB columns, a
buffer is enlarged dynamically to read in larger
BLOB values. If you scan a table, a
buffer as large as the largest BLOB value
is allocated.
Handler structures for all in-use tables are saved in a cache and managed as a FIFO. By default, the cache has 64 entries. If a table has been used by two running threads at the same time, the cache contains two entries for the table. See Section 7.4.8, “How MySQL Opens and Closes Tables”.
A FLUSH TABLES statement or
mysqladmin flush-tables command closes
all tables that are not in use at once and marks all in-use
tables to be closed when the currently executing thread
finishes. This effectively frees most in-use memory.
FLUSH TABLES does not return until all
tables have been closed.
The server caches information in memory as a result of
GRANT and CREATE USER
statements. This memory is not released by the corresponding
REVOKE and DROP USER
statements, so for a server that executes many instances of
the statements that cause caching, there will be an increase
in memory use. This cached memory can be freed with
FLUSH PRIVILEGES.
ps and other system status programs may
report that mysqld uses a lot of memory. This
may be caused by thread stacks on different memory addresses.
For example, the Solaris version of ps counts
the unused memory between stacks as used memory. You can verify
this by checking available swap with swap -s.
We test mysqld with several memory-leakage
detectors (both commercial and Open Source), so there should be
no memory leaks.

User Comments
tmp_table_size is not the only variable that determines when a tmp table is written to disk. max_heap_table_size also applies.
I got this formula from mysql error log complaining it doesn't have enough memory to start mysqld:
key_buffer_size + (read_buffer_size + sort_buffer_size) * max_connections = K bytes of memory
I hope this document could be straight forward by providing a formula to calculate the memory usage for mysqld.
Sheila
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